Friday, April 6, 2012


Easter is fantastic. It gives me an excuse to consume copious amounts of chocolate. I do this every single day, but's different. Today, I don't feel guilty - because I'm reassured in the fact that the rest of the world are also walking around with chocolate-smeared grins. No wonder it's a public holiday - how can anyone function with the amount of sugar speeding through everyone's veins this long weekend? Another reason why today is fantastic, there are two new Kanye songs out - one being part of the ongoing G.O.O.D Fridays. Listen to them here. This verse is so fun to rap along to:

Drop it to the flo', make that ass shake.
Woah, make the ground move, that's an ass-quake.
Build a house up on that ass, that's an ass-tate.
Roll my weed on it, that's an ass-tray.

Blazer: Zara
Necklace: Dallas & Carlos
Tapered Trousers: $20 from some random Ebay store (HOLLA AT ME, MASS PRODUCED ASIAN GOODS).
Studded cuff: Wanderlust + Co
Gold claw cuff: ASOS
Gold glitter heels: Zara
White button-up:
Belt: Thrifted

So...I bought another claw cuff from ebay because I thought I had lost my ASOS one (although it was just under my it got there, I have no idea. It's not a tooth, Jess, you're not going to be visited by mythical money-generous fairies). I seem to do this way too often - I ordered another university I.D. after thinking I lost my one...and then I found it in my underwear drawer. Fantastic. So, I'm giving away a claw cuff because I have no use for two - does anyone? All you have to do is leave a comment and tell me What would you do if you wore this cuff but it materialised into a real claw, attached to a real-ass monster, who was about to eat you whole? Most creative and effective escape/defense plan wins. I'll pick a winner in 48 hours. Leave your e-mail!


Kathryn Reylado said...

That monster wouldn't last two seconds. Ryan Gosling is my boyfriend.

Also, I am jealous that your teeny-tinyness looks amazing in printed pants.

simplyme. said...

i would pull out my wand and stupefy it; then i would turn him back into the gorgeous cuff <3

Jingyu said...

Those prints look amazing <3 !! in hunt for printed pants this season.

I would yell out that 'human meat doesn't taste nice and I will cook better and more delicious food for you "the monster". While pretending to cook, I will take the knife and stab the monster... Then I'm forever FREE againnn!! hahah....

Happy Easter!!!

lalaaaanita said...

I'd be wearing UNI Hellraisers with my new Claw cuff, so I'd take off my shoes and beat it. And then I'd karate chop it, since I'm Asian and all Asians know karate :)

Also, I want your pants *scans ebay*

a.nitaaaa(at) :)

Katie said...

I would slow down time before it ate me and befriend it so we could rule the world together.

Jeline said...

Love the outfit. You look stunning. :)

Jellie Dawn said...

I am so stoked for the two new Kanye songs too! When I look at your style, it reminds me of a Kanye West video. The urban and edgy style truly matches your music taste!

And those pants are definitely your pièce de résistance. <3 Love it!

Susan said...

If I'm fortunate enough that it any other power [apart from brute strength] & has a peanut allergy- I got given some airplane peanuts, so might just throw those until it reaches for it's Epipen.

Also, your trousers fit amazingly!

Kate said...

I'm an English major, so my best weapon would be a Norton Anthology. And let's be real, the thing would be dead in a single blow that way, anyway.

jessicang said...

If the claw turned into a monster, I'd fend it off with my heels that I would swiftly take off. Wave those heels around and hope the monster would run off. And because this monster loves fashion, it will end up not eating me and decide to come closer to me and wrap its self onto me and then it would magically end up on my wrist again, wrapped around. And we all live happily ever after.

THAT or I'd be dead really.

Anh said...

I would jab it in the eyes with my other hand (because, you know, that's what you're meant to do with a shark), jump onto it to pin it down before calling upon the mythical Edward Cullen to sparkle it to death.

Lovely outfit by the way :)


Anonymous said...

do you have the links to those leggings? trousers?

sarah said...

i adore the pants and those sparkly gold shoes. wow i totally need more sparkles in my life. anyway at first i thought you wrote that you found your uni id card in your underwear drawer and i was very confused as to how it got there... then again your cuff being there also doesn't make much sense either, but i suppose i can't talk as i regularly find weird things amongst my clothes, like hairpins and my sister's glasses...

anyway i adore that claw cuff so much... wow jess, way to make us work for this! i have a very tiny creative bone so this really makes things hard.

if the claw materialised into a real claw with a monster attached, i would calmly stare into its eyes and i shall sing it a lullaby. like fluffy from harry potter it will sleep. obviously when it wakes up from its snooze it shall then be tamed and love me because my singing voice is amazing, like snow white, or cinderella or any self respecting disney movie heroine. and then i shall use it as a means of transport and we shall go on epic adventures together to save the world and maybe i can finally have a legitimate reason for dropping out of uni.


sojjeje said...

Well dang, trust you to title your post after a Kanye West song, haha!
Those trousers are amazingly stark against your black and white upper! And the gold accessories are neat~

thestyleflux said...

Love the pants!

Kaye Awatin

Cheryl Julia said...

I'd roll with it. Nothing like being eaten for an adventure.

Julie said...

Thankfully I am able to think about my belly fat every time I see chocolate so temptation hasn't won yet haha. Anyway, I love your pants!

Kwan Jing Yi said...

you look as pretty as ever <3

My immediate reaction would be to whack it on it's head repeatedly with my handbag until the monster becomes dazed and confused. Following that, I would ninja-ly remove one of my 4 inch high heels and slam it into the monster's face (ouch) which should hopefully allow the monster to let go of me. If that fails, I would recite a literature poem from my textbook, and lure it to sleep (trust me, i'm 100% sure that it will work), and while it's knocked out on the floor snooring away, I would gently untangle myself from this monster mess and run away. Hehehe

Kalani Herath said...

Hello fellow Zaraholic, do you also salivate at the sight of their shop windows?!

If the claw became live, I would follow the example of Max from "Where the Wild Things Are," persuade the monster I am a queen with magical powers and that rather than consuming me we could have a "wild rumpus" instead.
p.s. your twitter is hilarious (@symmetriKal)

clara said...

Cuff it right back (:

OR make a pet of it, raise little baby monsters and then there'd be more deliciously gold monster body parts to market.

julia wang said...

the only realistic answer is that i'd curl up into a ball and pray that the monster thinks i'm a helpless tumbleweed.

and then i'd release the baskilisk and eye-stone that shit.

julia wang said...

oh and my email is because i'm an idiot and forgot.

Charlene said...

I immediately thought of that movie with James Franco where his arm was pinned down under a boulder so he hacked it off. SAME CONCEPT FOR ME.

So I'd be like,

And then have this grisly eating race of my arm where I will definitely win because I'm always starving. And because I win, I'll get to keep my life. Then I'll make a fucking movie out of it but maybe cast Angelina Jolie as myself Tomb Raider style. Trust me, this will work.

Charlene said...

Oops, I was so excited about my movie that cost me an arm that I forgot to leave my email! Sorry Jess!

Alison said...

He would look into my eyes and we would communicate telepathically. His eyes would be screaming "I'm actually just angry because I really want my claw to be turned into a gold cuff." I of course could help him with that. I would then find him a sexy as fuck girl monster who loves men monsters with only one claw. Then I would use the gold claw to clutch the oscar I will probably win for this brilliant movie idea. Fin.

Yeliz Selvi said...

ahahaha lady you make my week. Mass produced asia gear only works on stud muffin figure of you so kudos woman for abusing that shit! LOVES IT!

And, in honour of the man himself, I would have Kanye tell the cuff that Beyonce's video was better. Humiliation on end scale!!

loves to you woman! xx

Mara Feliz said...

You always have the best taste on song lyrics.. haha!

If that claw bracelet turned into a real ass-monster, I'd probably turn on Kanye West's song, Theraflu, and show him how to party like it's 1428 (or whatever year it was that dragons/monsters existed). Hopefully it would be too distracted and awestruck with my out of this world hip gyrating and pelvic thrusts that it would want to make peace and be my friend. I'd call him 'Joe' (because monsters love that name) and he'd hold my boney-ass wrist while we go buy me some deodorant in a local drugstore.

Annette said...

Easy! As a truce, I would offer myself up as a human bracelet to the monster. I live + I get to be a pretty adornment on a badass monster. Not to mention all the popcorn-worthy moments I'll get to witness, serving as an accessory of the monster's day to day life.

xinwei said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
xinwei said...

i would throw out my emergency 'if-bracelet-turns-into-monster' pokeball and Jigglypuff will sing it to sleep. while it's in deep sleep, i will discuss the solutions of taming the monster or transforming it back into that lovely, harmless little claw cuff from before with the Winchester brothers, Sherlock and John, and other possible characters smart or witty enough for the task.

clearly this can all only happen in my head, or on tv. or better yet, in a book. and since i've decided this is happening in a book, Neil Gaiman's going to be the author of this story and he will explain to you in detail of my adventures with your eBay claw cuff and several other fictional characters who are too immortalized in my head.

i really want that claw cuff. i have never wanted any other accessory in my life more than that. REALLY. i'm not even extremely fond of normal accessories. when i am, i happen to be completely in love with them.

email :

Julie said...

If my claw cuff turned into a monster, I would first grab any and all cards out of my wallet and slice it's claw off for the safety of my life and my arm to be safe. Then, I would reach down into my bag to find myself a can of spray cheese and crackers those would be for me because I need to keep my mouth busy from screaming. Afterwards, I would glide on my scandals down the hill to the river and as it leans for it's final kill I would duck. As a result, it would drown to death and I would continue munching.


mischelle said...

I'd set that beast on fire and then they'll let go of my wrist and I'll have roasted meat to eat.

Liqin said...

If the claw was attached to a monster i guess the first thing i would do is start screaming like a mad woman, and probably i would start kicking it, and if it doesn't helps i guess it will just be the end of my life T_T HAHAHAHAHAHA! Really hope i could win this even though i know my "story" sucked alot. XD

couturing said...

Love the jewelry and the gold accents <3

Pamada said...

Oh dear.

If the claw transformed into a monster that was about to eat me, well the most logical thing to do would to bite it first, obviously. Bite it hard. And then it would just stare at me - dumbfounded - before it recognized that I was in fact, just as cool a monster as it. And then we would dance to Kanye and go out seeking real humans to eat.



Karen Wu said...

It's funny that you mention Kanye and monsters in this post because Monster by Yeezy is one of mah jaaaaaaamz gurl! With that being said, I'd probably purchase another cuff so I could have a real-ass monster on each arm. Then, i'd stroll the city with Monster playin' as the soundtrack to my lifee. No violence involved, h0lla~

And them pants girl, I dig.

A said...

This is such an awesome outfit!
I love how you toned down the crazy printed pants and sparkly heels with the black looks awesome!

Thanks for having this giveaway!
I would absolutely love to have that gorgeous claw :)

If it were to materialize into a real claw attached to a monster, there are multiple ways I have of defending myself.
1. I would pull out my my uberduber sparkly heels. The sun reflecting off the sparkliness would blind the monster and it would die in the face of such amazing glittery awesomeness. Seriously.
2. I would dive into the ocean and transform into the mermaid I know I secretly am. The monster would follow me but I would use my super amazing ocean mermaidy powers to chop it up and turn it into sushi. Yum!
3. I would just wrap it around me like people do with fur. It could be my cool dinosaurish monster shrug or something....

Thank you once again for this awesome giveaway Jess!
Sorry for all my rambling :)


renee said...

omg! so much awesomeness....
love love those heels!
Really want to participate but already got the claw bracelet. It would have been fun.. thinking up hypothetical situations. :D

missdanbee said...

those pants are fantastic! you styled them so well <3


Susy said...

Ahhh those pants are amazing! Now begins my fruitless search for similar ones..

Lisa N said...

I'd sing "Call Me Maybe' in hopes I'll either annoy it to death or we'll find some kind of mutual unfound love hidden in the depth of our souls (think Shrek and how Donkey did it, it'll be like that only prettier, it'll rain glitter or something). If all else fails, I've always got those nunchucks and daggers in my bag, they'll do.

Hehe, while other bloggers have 'follow this this this' for their blogs you've got some story fetished instead! Cutie patootie!

Whitney said...

I would get the monster to agree to a contest of arm wrestling. If I win, I get to be its master and such; if it wins, then I probably would get eaten.

And during the arm wrestling contest, if I really couldn't win, I probably would use distraction tactics to run away as fast as possible. :P

Wonder Woman said...

I'm not even going to attempt to answer anymore because Kathryn Reylado clearly wins this one.

Christina said...

You are such a cutie and have a brilliant way with words!

Theresa said...

your outfit. is. so. awesome. Those pants.... *O* Love itttttt~ Your hair is just long and luscious and amazing<3


maggie said...

I'd have my dad eat it like he eats a chicken foot! (Which sorta looks like the claw so it should work out). If that doesn't work, then I'd escape using my ninja powers :)
email: [at]

xx maggie

krisena said...

Hi, Jess! :)

What would I do.. Well, I'd call my boy Kanye. He'll whack the monster till it dies. Ha! And Kim K will be there too, cause well, they're dating and blah blah. While Kanye is hitting the monster with his LV bag and sneaks(yes?) Kim K will bounce up and down on the monster with her BIG BIG BIG beeeeautiful ass. No doubt the monster will die... from happiness. Why? Cause he got humped by some Kim K booty that's why! Story ends with Kanye rappin' lol


Rosalinda Tjioe said...

Love this outfit, the combination of everything is just perfect! X

kiakiakiakia said...

Those pants, those cuffs, that whole look, I lurrrvvveee it!

Jessica Truong said...

Well since the monster is probably hungry, as it's about to eat me whole, I'd give that motherfucker a knuckle sandwich to satiate its appetite before taming it and making it my bitch. Then I'd slap on a nifty neon collar on its neck and ride it everywhere- to school, to go shopping, to the grocery store. Who needs a car when you have a man-eating monster at your service?


michelle said...

haha yes mass produced asian goods come to mamaaaa,
i do love your pants ms. jessica and your blog, as always!

The Dress Up Corner

Liz. said...

I'd look that monster in the eye and it would be so scared of me that I would become it's new master.

Zoё said...

You look crazy slick here!
Plus, can't thank you enough for posting these songs, they're insane - Kanye always does it riiiight

Spoonful Of Diamonds said...

these pants are freaking awesome!!!! love the print


Severine said...

Im loving those trousers ! what an adorable look. x

Melissa said...

Love your pants Jess!!

my friends have known me for having the most flexible bones or movements, I guess that's probably when I'll discover the inner power within of flexibility! With that, Ill be able to slipped my hand out of the claw with the help of some slimy jelly secretion (OK THIS IS GROSS!) and glide away like a snake! Of course, I'll hide somewhere like underneath a manhole or on top of the roof just in case the monster turned back into a claw cuff because he's frustrated with my hide and seek game. Oh yeahh, I'll be watching him with the I'M-NOT-GOING-TO-GIVE-UP-ON-THAT-AMAZING-CLAW-CUFF attitude!

*powerpuff song rolling in*

Once again, the city is saved by the Flexibile Girl!

Aly Rose said...

I would just use the Reducio charm and keep the now tiny little beast as a pet!

Joana said...

I love this outfit, the pattern of these pants is crazy cool! :)

xo Joana

silhouette said...


sostefunnie said...

That cuff is gorgeous. And I'm sure it'd be equally as gorgeous attached to a monster. I'd do my best to charm it into falling in love with me, similar to how Donkey did in Shrek, in hopes that the claw would turn back into the lovely cuff.

Also, I ADORE your pants! I need them in my life asap.

Megann Monday said...

Not sure if my answer still makes it, but I'd definitely sing and dance to the tune of Lady Gaga's MONSTER. It'd probably be annoyed and fly away or still opt to eat me alive. If the latter happens, at least I can say that I lived my last day fashionably with a living claw cuff.


♥ Megann of Style Surgery

Melissa♥} said...

I'd pull out one of its claws with the use of magic and then stab it with its own claw, hopefully there's venom in it! (just like how Harry destroyed Tom Riddle's dairy with the venomous basilisk fang) ;)


PS You are as gorgeous as ever. Stay lovely xx

Anonymous said...

I'd convince the monster not to eat me based on how fabulous its claw would look on my wrist. It would take one look and have to agree. It's okay though, because we'd trade off. We'd probably start a new fad, encouraging hand holding around the world. It would to more friendships, happier people and, probably, world peace.

- Margarita,

Natasha Fatah said...

Those pants are fantastic!!!
~Natasha Fatah~
~Natasha Fatah~

Anonymous said...

amazing pants!! what did you search on ebay?? xxx

Karen said...

Can i please get the link to the ebay store of your pants please!!!

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