Thanks so much for all your entries in the myLeather.com.au bag giveaway! Reading through your responses to what the weirdest thing in your bag was gave me a good laugh...but at the same time found me giving my monitor some pretty strong crazy eye. You guys seem to enjoy carrying WEAPONS (nunchucks, a dagger, a BAG OF KITCHEN KNIVES?!), using your handbags as pantries (a tub of cheese, one year expired chips, lime slices, a single hard boiled egg), carrying LIVE ANIMALS (someone's brother's pet iguana [impressive], dogs, cats, a dog's hairbrush)...and the downright strange (a stool sample, a urine sample a large pink dildo, a nappy filled with pee, grandmother's dentures). It makes me happy and proud to know my readers are a bunch of dangerous, hungry, animal-loving weirdos. I say that with the utmost affection. I think I'll be doing these types of giveaways more often. Enough rambling. The Winner is Nadhia Rahmatika! I've contacted you by e-mail, Nadhia :-) x
Fur vest: Wish
Long cigarette holder (my male friend actually used it to smoke all night): Ebay
Lipstick: Russian Red by MAC
I dressed up as Cruella DeVille for a party the other day...except my black/white wig refused to show itself in the mail on time so I ended up looking like an anime character in a ballgown with a sub-par white bob I picked up at the local costume store. I looked progressively more and more underwhelming with every drink...eventually just looking like any Asian girl with messed up hair in a floor-length gown, screaming when they played a Notorious B.I.G. song, and then being the only person on that boat to know the lyrics (and scream themselves hoarse to it). Big thank you to the readers I met who chanted "Jess Loves Fred...Jess Loves Fred...Jess Loves Fred" for no particular reason. Above I present to you, anime Jess (follow me on Instagram!: @fartssica)
Faux-fur collar blazer: Loft by Ann Taylor via eBay
Belt and cuff: ASOS
Boots: Urban Outfitters
Sunglasses: Karen Walker
Necklace: Handmade via Etsy
And off comes the jacket! I've always wanted to do a post where I just get increasingly naked with every photo until I'm left wearing only three carefully positioned spoons. Nudist/cutlery chic. Watch this space.
In the spirit of National Poetry Month in the U.S., (Australia never gets nice things) I'll be posting one of my favourite poems alongside every blog post in the month of April (and try my hardest to resist the temptation of copy-pasting the incredibly long piece of wonder that is T.S. Eliot's The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock). To kick off the iambic pentameter party:
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message 'He is Dead'.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.