Wednesday, September 23, 2009

How I Celebrate the End of Exams (pt. 2)

This was going to be Things I Do Instead Of Studying part 2 but, LO AND BEHOLD, my exams are OVER. So its time to pop open a bottle of champagne coke, party dance to Beatles music until the break of dawn its time to go to bed, and...

1. Blow bubbles.

2. Chew gum. - The squish sound as your teeth mash that shit into a pulp sounds more celebratory than "Celebration" by Kool & the Gang.

At first glance

Close up.

3. Go into a euphoric fit and throw away all my notes. I actually did this DURING the exam period, when I couldn't stand the sight of my calculator and mountains of paper and went completely apeshit...but I'd rather post about it in this context.

4. Read

5. Take pictures of pegs. They are party animals.

6. Take pictures of coat hangers. They are also party animals.

7. Take pictures with my sisters.

8. Catch up with my fish. Long time no talk.

9. Buy a locket from a charity store for $2.50...

10. ...and fill it with pictures of Chace Crawford and Brad Pitt. NO SHAME.


11. Listen to (clockwise from top left): Mondays Are Like Tuesdays And Tuesdays are Like Wednesdays - Acid House Kings; God Help the Girl - self titled; Pet Sounds - The Beach Boys; Declaration of Independence - Kings of Convenience

Monday, September 14, 2009

Things I Do Instead of Studying Part 1

During the next two weeks or so I'm going to be feeling all guilty and shit about blogging, and refrain from doing so, or only post pictures. Although eliminating one form of procrastination (my blog), there are GUARANTEED other things I'm going to do besides studying, but you know. Here are some of the things I do instead of studying (part 1), and my justifications for it:

Play that weird tennis ball attached to a stick thing.
Why its more worthwhile than studying: It's strangely exhilarating, and its a form of exercise right? I'm beating obesity!

Eat onion rings.
Why?: Because onion rings are GODS FOOD. ONION RINGS ARE AMAZING. And if I can't lead a good life eating onion rings, what can I do?

Put onion rings on my fingers
Why?: Because its fashionable and because I can.

Put onion rings on my knees.
Why?: Because they look good there.

Blow bubbles with my sister.
Why?: Because its family bonding and she got free bubbles from her First Communion.

Listen to The Kinks and White Water, White Bloom by Sea Wolf.
Why?: Because it is amazing music.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Craig Likes Fancy Dress

Dear Craig,
Reasons why you should consider me for your girlfriend/for marriage (tell me if I'm moving too fast):
1. I don't mind if you're half man half fly, full man or full fly, I'll love you either way. And I don't even know what a Delorean is, or why you'd be naked, so we're covered on that.
2. I can probably even come with you time travelling. I've been known to indulge in a little time travel myself, its something that I'm very cultured in. Maybe we could have a date sometime in the year 362BCE, or the year 3300, your choice, I'm pretty laidback.
3. I know how the GFC can affect you, or at least, I can pretend to know. Anything for you.
4. I think tights on men are pretty gay too.
5. I appreciate a man with an extensive DVD collection. It'll complement my extensive MP3 collection.
6. I have plenty of toothpicks.
7. I have a big TV.

In case you can't read it:
Right - I'm pretty sure I've invented a time machine. All going accordance to plan I'll materialise right here at 11:37AM on Friday. This is just a courtesy note to make sure you're not standing at this spot at the time. Things might get quite messy if you are. Also, I won't be arriving in a Delorean, be naked or be half man half fly, this isn't the movies you know. -- Craig.

Left - Last week I dropped a sweat band in front of this mail box. Meet me here tomorrow at noon if you found it. I'll be here, I've retraced my steps and I'm sure I lost it right here, for a reward we could go and see a movie the next day (Gorga only!) (?). I work at 4PM so it'd have to be before that. -- Craig

Left - Will the global financial crisis (GFC) affect me? I don't know much about it so if you know and would like to tell me then meet me here at 4PM tomorrow. I'm sure you know a good place aorund here we could go to talk. If not, bring a friend who does. As payment I could take you bowling at strike, but only midweek before 6PM and your friend will have to pay for himself, sorry -- Craig.

Left -
Looking for a girlfriend, I'm 35 and I have an extensive DVD collection. I can cook a little and will even do some cleaning. If you have a big TV then meet me here at 6PM Friday and we can go on a date. It'll be fun. I'l be wearing one white thong and one brown thong so you can recognise me -- Craig.

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