Return of the Jess-I

Can we all take a moment to reflect on the hilarity of this blog post title? What better way to kick off 2012 Jess Loves Fred with really bad puns and really bad humor. If this were Christmas, I wouldn't be getting any presents because I've been a bad litte blogger. I hope you all had a wonderful break and holiday season (I spent mine slogging it out in the retail industry. My only friends for a while were security tags and the juice shop downstairs). This is how I spent my New Years Day (like every other Sydneysider..) at the beach! It was the first time I've been in a year, and from a vague memory of getting headbutted in the hip by some kid the last time I went to the beach, I didn't think I was fond of the sand and surf. Until I actually went for the first time this Summer (this ridiculous tantrum weather is more upsetting than finishing all the seasons of The Wire and having nothing to watch)...and LOVED IT.

High-waisted bikini: Silent Sky
Necklace: Knobbly Designs on Etsy
Sunnise: Ray ban



What I've been up to, in brief:

- Working and interning more hours than you can shake a "WHY HAVE YOU NOT BLOGGED" stick at.
- Being late to the Breaking Bad party, and losing so much sleep over it (when has my blog not been about watching this or that TV show too enthusiastically?).
- I finally gave my feet and future chiropractor a break and got into wearing flats (!).
- I used and abused my dad and best friend's iPhones way too many times and joined Instagram (follow me! "Fartssica").
- I wrote and published my first article...about masturbation and porn addiction.
- My half-shaven head is now more like half-really-strange-length...I thought it's time to give up being a punk and scaring elderly ladies.
- I realised that this four month break from university is driving me slightly insane. Is there such a thing as too long a holiday?.





- I bought a 12 pack of tissues that I don't need, sole reason being they were only $2.
- I watched about three hundred thousand cute/funny animal videos on Youtube.
- Pretty much lost my voice rapping along at the Kanye concert.
- Watched my male friends suddenly and inexplicably get into Ping Pong.
- Got drunk off a quarter cup of wine (I haven't changed).
- Held my breath as I checked my e-mail for the first time in weeks.
- Was the Modcloth Blogger of the moment!
- This is turning into an autobiography so this will be the last dot-point. What have you been up to?

Fail-safe

Dress: Staple the Label via Beginning Boutique
Veruca Salt Tote: Tilkah
Necklace: Knobbly Designs on Etsy
Thelma Sandals: The Horse

Everyone has that one outfit that they chuck on without a second thought. Those days you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, those days you don't want to get out of bed at all. The kind of day where you wake up and the first you do is yell at your bedroom ceiling, "PLEASE DON'T LOOK AT ME, I AM HIDEOS." This is my lazy, fail-proof outfit. This knit dress is light enough for Summer and stretchy enough for me to slunk down in my train seat, legs akimbo, hair a mess. Cute Aussie label The Horsemakes the fricken' comfiest sandals (and I'm not even a sandal girl). The description for these sandals on the website is, "A latticed, leather throne for your feet." Enough said. My feet are princesses (very scarred, poorly treated princesses suffering from years of domestic abuse). What do you guys wear on your lazy days?



And as I am in the midst of guest-blogging for Breakfast With Audrey (you can view all my posts here). As a special pre-Chrissy treat for my followers, the lovely Pip and Tash (the honeys with heaps of booty behind BWA) are offering A$200 BWA Dollars upon sign up to their community (they usually only give you A$25 to start up with). Interacting on their fash e-communtiy earns you Audrey dollars which you can eventually trade in for something you can wear, fling around, dance on etc. It's a cute way of rewarding you for being part of their commnunity.

I'm a member already, so hopefully I'll see you there?
Sign up to Breakfast With Audrey for a complimentary A$200 Audrey dollars as hello present
Code upon sign-up: "Jesslovesfred"

In other news, all the Christmas centre Santas and window displays are getting to me. I'm finally feeling Christmassy. I'll be making another Xmas mixtape for you to get your groove on sometime within the next week. God knows I need it, since my family is deserting my over Chrissy to leave me to fend for myself back home in a land where I don't know how to cook for myself. Christmas instant noodles, here I come.

Ruthless & Toothless

Dress: Suboo
Heels: Havoc by ASOS
Necklace Knobbly on Etsy
Clutch: Ebay
Aviators: Rayban via Sunglass Hut

THIS DRESS. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND how great it feels to wear this dress. I wore it to work and sold about 5 times more than I usually would. That is a testament to how amazing this dress was. You know what, I was probably unconcious throughout my whole shift and my dress did my job for me. Incredible movement, a low back and a bright-ass print. Check, check and double check.





I'm obsessed with Parks and Recreation at the moment and have burned through three seasons within a week. When I fall for television series, I fall hard.

P.s. Have you been following my posts on Breakfast With Audrey? The latest one on some of my fave Etsy sellers is live and running!

Bling Bling Dumpling

Blazer: Zara
Gold neck chain: Op-shopped/thrifted
Faux-Fur mini dress: Op-shopped/thrifted
Veruca Salt Tote (annoningly I snapped it back to front): Tilkah
Patent smoking slippers: Aldo

There's something extremely garish about the combination of a FUR DRESS + heavy bling + a fluro pink blazer. It was so over the top that at times I caught myself in a flash on a reflective surface and thought, "What. What are you doing." This faux-fur thrifted mini dress makes me feel like a straight up baby black bear. A floozy black bear, at that - considering the length of it. I just want to roll around in some leaves, eat some honey (is that what bears do? I base all my animal knowledge on Winnie the Pooh...), and maybe hibernate a 'lil, hunt a bit of deer...

P.S. I'm guest editing for Breakfast With Audrey as the December Accessories editor! My first intro post is already up and I'm in the process of writing a second.. Take a look here :-)











I was lucky enough to come along to see the rad new Chatswood Chase One Teaspoon store. The sales assistants there are so lovely (well, pretty much every damn person from One Teaspoon practically reek cool from their pores). We got treated to a sneak peek of Winter '12 and engorged ourselves on goat cheese something or other (it doesn't matter to me if there's cheese. That's all I need to know). Their new website is up tomorrow. Some pics from the night:

CommonSsense

When I contemplate my three jobs, lack of social-life and free time, and countless hours and dollars racked up behind train tickets and commuting to work...and then I glance at my bank account with the numerals $1.42 in lieu of a balance - something doesn't quite add up. In moments like these, while browsing the Ssense sale does it really hit home like an elephant on a rampage that something must be done about my lack of financial self-control.

Wolfing Around

Dress: I Like Wolves (via Market HQ) - PSST, it's $29. Yeah, about the price of a few large Big Mac meals. GET ON IT.
Necklace: Knobbly on Etsy.

I wore this dress on the night I thought I was supposed to be seeing one of my fave artists live, Passenger. After making poor Nicole (from Confident Liar) walk about 30 minutes into the heart of Redfern (not the safest place to be in while wearing a cut-out, bodycon dress) we arrived at the supposed address of the gig. Except it was an apartment block. And I was just about to urinate all over her if I didn't get to a toilet ASAP. So we asked a guy walking into the apartment complex if he knew where the gig was. He expressed his confusion which led me to ask my next question..."Can I use your toilet." He said yes. I realised as I was following him up two flights of stairs into his apartment that I was putting myself in a pretty bizarre and not-at-all safe situation. But alas, I peed, and he was lovely and his name was Matthias. Moral of the story: don't pee in stranger's houses, except when their name is Matthais. Anyway, so after that, I realised that I had read the date wrong and had in fact, turned up to the gig on the wrong day. My idiocy knows no bounds.





I am a huge-ass sucker for statement necklaces, especially when it involves my good old friend Etsy. This wood chevron necklace is handmade by Gittit, the lovely lady behind the Etsy store Knobbly. She's based in Tel Aviv, Isarel. When I received the package and it was stamped all over with "ISRAEL POST", my heart kind of ran around my body and gave all my organs a big hug. It's incredible how connected we all are in this day and age, and how insanely easy it is to reach out across the internet and give someone a virtual e-tap on the shoulder. On designing, Gittit says, "I've never studied anything remotely related to design so whenever I get a new idea I just dive in headfirst and make every possible mistake." When she's not moonlighting as an awesome independent designer, she's teaching 4-7 year olds someCapoeira. Look out for cage harness badassery to come in upcoming posts.

Head to Toe

I guess my luck has turned right around. Ran into uni today to fix up the problem of not having a student I.D. (for 6 months now...my wallet got stolen six months ago, my laziness is boundless). It's supposed to cost $25 because I don't have a police report to prove that my wallet was stolen rather than simply lost. The lady who processed my I.D. just gave me a smile, said "you seem like you've had a rough few weeks" and waived the fee. Sometimes, kindness from random strangers is all it takes to turn around a drought of happiness.

High collar melon tank, Wisteria Lane Mulit-split maxi skirt, Sunnies: Market HQ
Wedges: Ebay
Belt: Op-shopped
Yellow Clutch: Ebay
'I' canvas tote: Alphabet Bags
Dakota Wallet in Green: Status Anxiety







Speaking of wallets...this Status Anxiety Dakota beauty in the most amazing lime green is a relief to both my coins and my cards. I finally have a legitimate wallet to house all my bits and bobs to reduce the (very high) risk of losing everything I own because until now, I've just let it float around akimbo in my bag. Also, signing up for pretty much every loyalty card available makes me feel like a bonafide grown-up (even though I have about 4 loyalty cards for juice bars but no driver's license...)



And speaking of droughts...where the hell has all the sunshine gone? Tomorrow is the 1st of December, meaning the first day of Summer and the first day of the last month of the year. I feel as though someone has mugged me for all my time and my right to a normal Summer. This muggy humid excuse for the start of Summer has got to end before I hurt someone.

P.S. How good is head to toe Mink Pink?